Maria's Blog

Maria from Woodburn, Oregon and Guerrero, Mexico - (Jan. 5, 2006)

I was looking forward coming back to school. At home I was getting really bored and lazy. I didn't do anything the last week before coming back--besides going to a baby shower. It was alright, but it wasn't as much fun as others I have been to. We played games like the one that gives you a tinny mammilla and the women will take it away if you cross your legs or hands; they do that because when women are pregnant they can't cross their legs or hands. We also guessed the mother's weight and her size using a roll of toilet paper. I guessed that her weight was 160, but it was actually 124 lb; and I guessed her stomach was 9 squares, but it was actually 12. My toilet paper method was to measure my own stomach and add three more squares, but I guess I was wrong.

Something surprising happened over vacation: I finally asked my dad if I could have permission to go out with my boyfriend. I was so nervous I was shaking and I could hear my heart beat so hard that I wondered if anyone could hear it. At first I thought I was not going to ask him because I couldn't even say anything--not a word. We were in the living room with my parents, my little brother and I. Then I went to my room and told myself that if I loved him I would tell my parents. I decided it was time to do it, so I asked my parents if I could talk to them. I told them I wanted their permission to go out with my boyfriend, and my dad was like "WHAT?"

I told my parents I was doing well in school and working. I also told them I had been a good girl, and that I should have the opportunity to have a boyfriend. I told my dad about my boyfriend: he is a nice guy who is in school and we have the same goals--to succeed in life.

My mom jumped in right away and said, "You're doing good because you don't have a boyfriend and there is no one to disturb you in your education. Later you are going to come home saying that you want to get married. And if it doesn't work out he will talk about you." I told them that my boyfriend is not like the other guys. Also, we don't want to get married yet, because I am too young to get married. I told my dad I wanted him to meet my boyfriend. My boyfriend told me that he would talk with my parents if they wanted. But my parents said, "He is not coming in this house!."

My parents have a rule that you only bring someone inside the house if you are going to marry him, but if you are not going to marry him you are not bringing him inside. My mom was yelling and my dad tried to be calm and listen to what I had to say. I tried to stay strong, but I wanted to cry. I could hear my voice cracking, but I kept talking and telling my dad about how nice my boyfriend is. My dad said this to me, "You have permission, but you can't go out by yourself with him. He can come to the house and see you, but outside not inside, and only for 30 minutes. You can talk to him on the phone. And you can have your brother or I chaperone you anywhere you want to go. Those are my conditions, take it or leave it." I took it, it's better than nothing. I told my boyfriend the next day and he said, "WHAT? YOU ARE NOT KIDDING?" He was so surprised and I was too. We can't believe that we have permission!

At the end of winter break I was glad to be going back to school. But, the only thing that made me sad was seeing my mom sad. She didn't want me to go. I understand that it's hard for her to let me go. I'm her baby girl. My four brothers and sisters live with my parents, the oldest one and his wife live there, my brother and sister that are going to college, and my little brother too. I am the first one of the five to move out and come back on the weekend. The last few days I was home she would hug me really hard and kiss me on my cheek and say, "I don't want you to go…I want these days to go really slow…can't you just stay here." And I had to hold in the tears. I had to be strong and not cry in front of my mom. I do miss her, but I really wanted to go to a university and explore and see what it's like to be independent.

The first two days back to OSU were boring, but since Wednesday I have been busy. I went to kick boxing and later on I went to the theater. Thursday I was out the entire day going to classes, meetings, and appointments. I am glad I am going back home. I'm pretty sure it's going to be nice.