Parental & Family Adjustment

Parents in Transition: Negotiating the Changing Relationship
5 Stages of Parental Adjustment to Adolescent Separation (Bloom, 1990)

The five stages that many parents and guardian family members go through when their traditional-aged student leaves for college for the first time.

Stage 1: Ambivalance

• Transition from Parent-Child to Adult-Adult Relational Patterns
• Negotiation of a New Relationship
• Vacillation Between Authority & Autonomy
• Resistance to Change

Stage 2: Cognitive Separation

• Development of Intellectual Autonomy
• Separation Defines the Adolescent Self
• Differences Denote Separateness
• Intellectual Independence Pre-empts Emotional Separation

Stage 3: Emotional Separation

• Nostalgia, Loss, Frustration, Uncertainty
• Guilt Due to Separation/Individuation
• Managing Both Closeness & Distance

Stage 4: Values Clarification

• Values Exploration
• Blending of Parental and Personal Values
• Peer Culture Exerts Strong Influence
• Learning New Ways to Parent

Stage 5: New Relationship

• Support & Guidance Replace Control
• Increase in Student Involvement Outside the Family
• Separateness is Balance with Connection

Peter Russell, Ph.D., Jeanne Stanford, Ph.D., and Britt Andreatta, Ph.D.
University of California , Santa Barbara – Copyright 2000