Common Reactions that Occur After a Tragic and/or Violent Event

 

• Responses to a tragic event vary from person to person. There’s no single, standard or “right” way to react.
• Even students who have not had any personal contact or connection to the event may exhibit reactions.
• Common reactions include:

           o   Shock and disbelief

           o   Feelings of helplessness, the feeling of loss or control over your life

           o   Difficulty concentrating and focusing on schoolwork

           o   Mourning the loss of another human being within their community

           o   Feeling the need to talk about the tragedy with good friends

           o   Feeling depressed and questioning how someone could commit such a heinous act

           o   Focusing more on the violent crime over the victims

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Helping Others Through a Traumatic Loss or Event

 

• Reach out and let others know that you are available and can offer support.
• Ask your friends what kinds of things feel supportive to them.  Some people love to be asked how they are doing while others want to bring it up on their own. Sometimes people don’t know what they need initially, so keep checking in.
• Listen. Simply acknowledging feelings is important. Allow room for people to have their feelings, even as you try to reassure them.
• Encourage others to give themselves time to heal, to mourn the losses and to be patient with changes in their emotional state.
• Respect the need for privacy. Some people may need a lot of time alone.

• Remember recovering from a tragic event or loss takes time and cannot be "fixed with a quick remedy." Sometimes your support will not be able to make someone feel better right away. So follow up frequently, which lets your friend know that you’re in for the long haul.

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Self Care After a Traumatic Loss or Event

 

Taking care of yourself is important to prevent further problems and stress from developing. The following have been found to be helpful in coping with traumatic grief:

• The most important thing you can do for yourself during this time is to spend time with friends or family, face-to-face. Social support, more than any other factor, will help prevent you from feeling depressed and anxious.
• Maintain a regular daily routine by setting times for waking, meals, and going to bed.
• Eat a balanced diet and drink plenty of water, even if your appetite has diminished significantly.
• Avoid too much caffeine, as it will interrupt your sleep.
• If you’re having trouble sleeping, develop a relaxing pre-sleep routine. Wind down with a book, crossword puzzle, or quite music before bed rather than watching television.
• Enjoy outdoor activities such as going for a walk or playing catch with a friend. They will take you away from the stress and refresh you mentally.
• Exercise helps to counteract depression and makes you feel good physically and mentally. The exercise does not need to be strenuous. If you have doubts about your fitness, consult your doctor.
• Try different relaxation techniques such as meditation, massage, listening to music, visualization, or yoga.
• Engage in something creative like writing, drawing, playing an instrument, dancing, etc.
• Avoid seeking relief through alcohol, smoking, medication, and other drugs.
• Some people find it helpful to spend fifteen to thirty minutes alone every day to reflect on their emotions and thoughts. Turning off your phone ensures that you won't be disturbed.
• Try keeping a journal. Writing down your feelings and memories of your loved one can be comforting and helpful in seeing how your grief changes over a period of weeks and months.

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Signs That a Student Might Need Additional Support

 

If you or a friend . . .

1.      Has excessive class/work absences

2.      Begins doing worse in class or not attending to daily job tasks

3.      Shows poor emotional control

4.      Has excessive moodiness or worrying

5.      Has sleeping and/or eating habits that change dramatically

6.      Shows unusual concern about personal health

7.      Has persistent depression

8.      Talks openly about suicide

9.      Engages in consistent risky behavior

 

When you or other students are . . .

1.      Cutting classes or missing obligations to be with this person

2.      Thinking and worrying a lot about this person

3.      Not sure what you should do

4.      When “helping” interferes with your getting your work finished or your obligations met

 

Ask yourself . . .

1.      Is this student’s behavior distressingly out of the ordinary?

2.      Is this beyond my skill level?

3.      Is the behavior getting worse?

4.      Does the behavior place anyone at risk?

5.      Am I feeling like I want to talk with someone about my observations and concerns?

 

If you answer “yes” to any of these questions, seek assistance and/or consult with a CAPS counselor, your professor or advisor, or another person you trust.

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